5 Basic Ass New Year’s Resolutions

Another year means another resolution that you know damn well you have no chance of following through with. What? Did you want comforting platitudes? We’re too real for that. But there are ways in which even you can manage to keep your New Year’s resolution. The trick is to set your goals as low as humanly possible!


1. Try not to argue with your relatives about politics if they’re 65 or older.

Look, we get it. To say that your grandfather’s viewpoints on how (insert any scenario involving any minority here) would have been “handled” back in his day can be upsetting is putting it mildly. (Monstrous or genocidal may be a more apt description.) Just try to remember the good times… Like when you brought your boyfriend to Thanksgiving and Pop Pop managed to last a whole thirty minutes before he called you both a sexist slur… We never said this would be easy.

P.S. Anyone under the age cutoff is fair game. They don’t have senility to fall back on as an excuse.


2. Make Art!

Look, here’s a fact — everyone of us holding this magazine is creating something. It may be painting, or jewelry, or music, or food, or just your ideas floating around on a Pinterest board, but we’re all creating something. You may scoff, but you know it’s true. If you’ve always wanted to try your hand at painting, take some classes. Or, hell, just get some paint and make something! But, create for the right reasons. Don’t create because it’ll make you wealthy, famous, or get you laid (by that same token, if any of these outcomes are obtainable, go for it). Create because there’s something inside of you that has to be expressed.


3. Actually support local businesses!

There’s a lot to be said about the convenience of super stores like Walmart and Target for all your generic shopping needs, but sometimes you want something a little more personal. Local businesses offer merchandise that you can’t find in the nearest big box store.

If you want to help out your community, do as much of your shopping in local businesses as possible.


4. Donate actual books you like to Lending Libraries!

We all love a good book. They’re compact, user-friendly and each of them contains hours worth of entertainment.

The recent trend of tiny lending libraries (think of a birdhouse, but with books) popping up all around various Mississippi towns is a book lover’s dream come true. What could be better? Well, a better selection of books for one. Listen folks, lending libraries are not garbage cans. Got old school books cluttering up your house? So what? Deal with it. Ain’t nobody want to read your old ass, outdated Economics book! Here’s a novel idea: buy a book you love and share it with your community. If you don’t want to drop actual paper money on a new book there are options. Both the Hattiesburg and Oak Grove libraries have regular book sales. Most are a dime or a quarter, maybe fifty cents tops. Splurge a little!


5. Pace watch instead of Binge watch!

Guys! Did you finish Luke Cage yet? No? You mean you’ve managed to limit yourself to one episode a night instead of ignoring your responsibilities and obligations and binge watching it all at once? It’s tempting to just veg out on the couch and catch up on your new favorite show, but there comes a time when you realize you’ve got other things to do besides see how much worse things can get for Jon Snow and fam. Say it with us: Just one episode a night.

Look, we know these are small changes, but they can do a lot of good, like improving familial relationships, being more open about your passions or giving back to your community. In order to improve your life, you don’t always have to make drastic changes to your lifestyle. All it takes are a couple of slight adjustments to make you feel like you’ve actually accomplished something.

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